I’m looking for a new bank, and apparently what I want doesn’t exist. I love Chase Bank’s online account management capabilities, account activity alerting capabilities, and the ability to deposit checks with my mobile phone by simply taking a picture of them (up to a certain dollar value). What I don’t love is the new fees every bank now feels like charging just to keep your money/business with them. Here’s how it works;
1) you give the bank your money.
2) they charge you.
What I want is a bank that basically has all Chase has to offer in terms of features, but doesn’t charge me a lame fee every month or require I keep a Fort Knox fortune as a minimum balance. Hey banks, guess what… keep your stupid APY interest rate of less than even a single percent, and just let me do my business without dinging me. What I really don’t get is why aren’t any of the so-called “online banks” up to speed with Chase? I mean why is it a brick and mortar bank has way more online features and capabilities than an actual online bank? Get with it you losers!
So, back to the point… today’s WTF moment. While researching new options for my personal and business banking, I ran across this classic banking move;
What’s the catch? There is no catch (oh, except there is a catch)… and that’s American Banking for you (Canadian banking is much worse).
A word on appearances
PS, it took me 30+ years and 2 mortgages before I figured out that the smiling friendly minions at the local bank branch may be nice people, they might be down right friendly, and they might even go out of their way to help you work around some problem you have or skirt policy from time to time and reimburse the occasional banking fee… but don’t be fooled by this. The bank itself is a business and you are the customer. The goal for them is always to try and take as much of your money as possible. Just like in Vegas, if you play their game, the house always wins. So, to recap – The happy people you see working in the bank may truly be nice friendly people that actually want to help you, but the folks that sit in the dark cavernous recesses of the financial industry who actually run the bank, set bank policy, and conspire to transfer all your assets from your possession to their’s – those people are definitely not your friends. Just keep that fact firmly in the back of your head the next time you walk into your bank and are greeted with a smile.